While having a baby is one of the most exciting things for a couple, not everyone has an easy time conceiving. Couples battling infertility are under immense stress and pressure and sometimes desperation.
Due to their high levels of sensitivity, there are some things that you should never tell such a couple. You might think you are helping and offering advice but you are doing more harm than good.
Here are phrases to avoid when addressing a couple fighting infertility.
Are you pregnant yet? Don’t ask questions about their pregnancy or lack thereof. If they were pregnant, they would have volunteered the information (depending on your relationship). By asking if they’re expectant, you are just reminding them about their struggles.
Why don’t you just adopt kids? Suggesting that they adopt kids means that is the last resort and there is no hope for them. You want to encourage them, not offer unsolicited advice that kills their hopes.
You can try IVF. Unless you’re a fertility expert or medical doctor, do not offer advice or opinion that you’ve not been asked for. Even if you’re a qualified practitioner, wait for them to ask you for advice.
Not everyone is meant to be a parent. This is perhaps the most insensitive thing you can tell a couple struggling with infertility. You’re killing their hopes and dreams of ever getting children.
Having children is expensive anyway. You might know the status of their bank account and their finances is definitely none of your business. This statement does not help in any way.
It was so easy for me and my partner to conceive. This comes across as if you’re bragging and rubbing in the fact that you have a child and they don’t. Do not compare your situation to theirs.
When handling couples fighting infertility, the trick is offering a listening ear. Be there for them when they need a shoulder to cry on.
Ensure you steer clear of baby topics unless they bring it up themselves. Put yourselves in their shoes and imagine the stress that comes with it.