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HomeTop Stories“Lazima ndovu zipange uzazi!” - Kalembe Ndile most hilarious quotes

“Lazima ndovu zipange uzazi!” – Kalembe Ndile most hilarious quotes

Kalembe Ndile, the ex-Kibwezi MP who died over the weekend at 57 was a fervent politician whose humility endeared him to many.

He served as Kibwezi legislator from 2002 to 2007, winning the seat on the National Alliance Rainbow Coalition wave.

But even after leaving Parliament, Kalembe never quite faded from politics. He founded The Independent Party (TIP), which was one of the 13 parties ‘swallowed’ by Jubilee in the run-up to the General Elections in 2017.

On the podium or during TV interviews, Kalembe delivered hilarious sound-bytes in his rich Kamba accent. His humour, while not directed at his political adversaries, was self-deprecating. We sample some of his hilarious quotes:  

On Dr. Kingo’ri’s show in November, 2016: Lazima tuanza mpango wa ndovu zipange uzazi kwa sababu ni nyingi… Na ni simple….  Kama binadamu anapanga uzazi kwa nini ndovu zisipange uzazi? 

When dissolving ‘TIP TIP’ in September 2016 to join Jubilee:

Hizi nguo zetu ni kama damu. Ukikata mjaluo na mkamba damu ni moja

To DP Ruto during the Jubilee parties grand merger in 2016: Wewe unasemanga ni mtu ya mkono kwa hii serikali. Kalembe anataka akuwe mtu wa mguu…..kukumbia tu!

Asked about his modest education in a TV interview: Nli-enroll university nikasoma soma nkaona hii masomo hainisaidii

About poverty in his childhood: There was a time I used to watch my mother preparing food and after cooking ugali, she would put water in a separate sufuria, a little flour and some onions. This would be the stew. Nakula ugali ngumu na ugali nyororo na yote ni ugali …hakuna mboga!

On TV comedy show: We should not have a Senate. What is it for? Senators’ work can be done by a parliamentary devolution committee

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