- Relationship experts say that break ups must be followed by drama the magnitude is what differs.
- They spoke on break ups on TV47’s Morning Cafe
There has been a surge in crimes of passion in the country. Young promising lives have been cut short as romance goes awry. Case in point celebrated Athlete Agnes Tirop.
But can former lovers break-up without physical and verbal violence, drama and razzmatazz? Relationship experts Dr Jane Kimani and Dr Julius Kimani discussed the issue on TV47’s breakfast show Morning Cafe.
“Breakups must be dramatic. The drama might be loud or subtle but there never lacks drama,” says Dr Julius Kimani. However, he says, this is dependent on the nature of romance.
“For those who are dating for marriage, there are times you sincerely feel you are dragging along and this is not the person for you, the worst thing you can do is to spend another one year pretending that everything is ok….No matter how you try to explain breakup, it can never be nice to the person who is being left,” adds Dr Kimani.
Borrowing from their personal experiences, the duo advises couples to seek counsel before ending their marriage or breaking up with partners. “When we were two years into our marriage, we wanted a divorce,” said Dr Jane. “I was convinced we could not work out. Sometimes people end good relationships that can be fixed. We now laugh at how petty the issues that would have ended our marriage were.”
Breaking up with toxic people
Toxic people become manipulative when breaking up with them by issuing threats like committing suicide or leaking inappropriate pictures on social media.
“Toxic people inflict a lot of fear but staying in a relationship based on fear is daily bondage. You should talk to the toxic partner at a sober moment and inform them you are breaking up with them. You should take precautionary measures as well such as seeking an injunction barring them from being in close proximity to you,” advises Dr Jane.
Here is the full interview: